


Confessions

by cordeliagoodx



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Cheryl's life is just shit, F/F, It's kinda angsty, not between them they are amazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-27 04:49:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14418033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cordeliagoodx/pseuds/cordeliagoodx
Summary: "Toni Topaz was the person Cheryl prayed would showed up and the person she thought she would never have in her life. Yet… There she was, knowing about Cheryl’s deepest and darkest secrets, and she didn’t care. She was still there, loving Cheryl like she was the most beautiful and precious thing in the world – and, to Toni, she really was."Or four times Cheryl told something dark about her past to Toni, and one time she didn't have to.





	Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my fisrt language so I'm very sorry for any mistakes this might have

  1. The Sisters 



They were at Toni’s trailer; Kevin had brought them there after the Serpent girl said Cheryl would stay with her. The redhead was so quiet, her whole body hurt, she could barely walk without help anymore, she was exhausted.

Toni seated the taller girl on the worn out couch and took her shoes off before sitting right next to her and waiting for Cheryl to decide what she wanted to do next.

“Can I shower?” The girl asked after a while. All her body wanted to do was sleep, but her mind was begging her to take the remaining of that place away, she knew she wouldn’t be able to rest properly without a shower.

“Of course, come on, let’s get you some clothes and then I’ll let you shower.” Toni helped her up, carrying most of the taller girl’s weight while they went over to Toni’s room before going to the bathroom. “I’ll be right outside yeah?”

“Please don’t leave.” Cheryl begged, not carrying if Toni would see her naked or if she looked too vulnerable. She just wanted the girl to be there, where she could see her, where she could make sure Toni wasn’t just another dream.

“Okay, I’ll stay.” She sat on the toilet and smiled softly.

While Cheryl undressed, Toni could see the bruises on the pale skin, on Cheryl’s back and on her arms, and it took everything in her not to go out right at that moment and demand the serpents to go and destroy that place.

Cheryl could see Toni’s eyes travelling through her body, and she knew the girl was paying attention to the bruises on her skin. She opened the shower and sighed when the hot water touched her skin, it felt like it was years ago that she showered with hot water for the last time. She spent some time just letting the water run through her body.  

She finished after a while, and had to ask for Toni’s help to get dressed, the adrenaline was wearing out, Toni asked if she wanted something to eat but she denied quickly, she truly thought she was going to collapse at any moment now, all she wanted was to lay down.

Toni’s bed was a lot smaller than hers, but it was comfortable – a lot more than the one at the sisters. Toni offered to stay on the couch but she didn’t the girl to be out of her sight. It took them ten minutes to finally lay down, Cheryl’s head on Toni’s shoulder, a protective arm was around the redhead, pulling her closer, theirs legs were intertwined and Cheryl had never felt more comfortable in her life.

“They would beat me whenever I said something they didn’t like…” She was half asleep already, her words slurred. But she felt like she needed Toni to know. “They would hold my wrist so tight whenever I refused to pray… It hurt but… I was always think of you… Liking you is not wrong…” She wanted to continue, tell Toni everything that happened but she was just so tired, her eyes closed at their own record and she was asleep within seconds leaving Toni with tears in her eyes.

  1. Thornhill



Toni was hanging in Cheryl’s room at Thistle House once again, it was an usual thing for her to do it since that day at Pop’s. It was easier to study there than at Sunnyside with all the boys talking and all the Serpents duties, also, she liked spending time with the redhead.

They were supposed to be studying but Cheryl decided she wanted to watch a movie instead, and really, could anyone ever win a fight against the Blossom girl? Toni didn’t even try do argue with her.

Cheryl’s head was resting on Toni’s shoulder and the serpent could hear soft snores coming out of the girl’s lips and the pink haired girl didn’t even care about what was happening in the movie, the feeling of the redhead girl this close to her and comfortable enough to fall asleep against her body made Toni so happy. From the moment she met Cheryl she knew the girl was in pain, she knew there was a lot going on behind the cold-hearted bitch façade. And knowing that out of all people, Cheryl let _her_ in – and so easily – made her feel warm inside, and it also made her feel responsible for making the taller girl’s life as easier as she could.

Toni wanted nothing more than to let Cheryl sleep for as long as she desired, but it was getting late and she knew that if Penelope Blossom found out she was there, the redhead would never hear the end of it.

“Cher.” She said softly, moving herself a little bit so she could actually look at the Blossom girl. “Hey sleeping beauty, wake up.” Cheryl stirred and sighed, eyes still closed while she tried to fully wake up. “Your mother is probably on her way home so I gotta go.”

“I should’ve burned her along with Thornhill, that way you could stay.” A half asleep Cheryl mumbled grumpily.

“What?” Toni asked shocked and Cheryl’s eyes widened, now fully awake, she stole a glance at Toni’s face and saw the brown eyes looking at her curiously.

“Can we pretend you didn’t hear what I just say and move on?”

“ _You_ burned down your old house?” The redhead just nodded, waiting for the shorter girl to leave, or call her crazy, or both, but Toni just laughed. “You’re savage, I mean, I knew you were but… The whole house? Wow Bombshell. I knew there was a reason why I liked you so much.”

Cheryl was so confused for a while. She liked her even after Cheryl told her she burn her whole house down? Toni Topaz was one of a kind. She allowed herself to smile at the girl next to her.

“I also cut down mother’s oxygen when she was at the hospital.” She shrugged.

“ _Oh my God!”_ And there was the laugh again.

  1. Nick St. Clair



The first time Toni woke up with Cheryl tossing and turning and practically screaming nonsense words in her sleep was a few days after they rescued the girl from The Sisters of Quiet Mercy. The serpent was freighted for about ten seconds before she touched one of Cheryl’s arms.

“Cheryl. Hey baby, wake up.” The girl stirred after a while, jumping away from Toni’s touch, her eyes wide open, full of tears and her breath wheezing. “Hey, it’s just me.” The pink haired girl tried but waited for the redhead to acknowledge her before touching her.

“Toni?” Cheryl’s voice was cracking. Toni nodded and opened her arms so the taller woman could crawl into them, and that’s what she did, hiding her head on the crock of her girlfriend’s neck while clutching to her like her life depended on it. “I’m sorry… I…”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s okay. You’re okay, it was just a nightmare.” Toni kissed the top of Cheryl’s head and waited for her to calm down and talk. She had heard the girl talk in her sleep but she’d always stop after a while, that was the first time Toni had seen her so shaken up. She knew there was no reason to ask the redhead about her dream before she was ready to talk, though, so she just waited patiently. Playing with the red curls and whispering comfort words into the Blossom girl’s ear.

“I… He was on top of me, I couldn’t get out, he was so strong, it was hurting me.” Cheryl said quietly, still curled up to her girlfriend’s body.

“It was just a dream Cher. You’re okay.”

Cheryl was quiet for a while and Toni thought she had fallen asleep again but kept caressing the girl’s hair anyway.

“Do you know who Nick St. Clair is?” The redhead asked all of sudden, scaring Toni a little.

“Uh… I’ve heard the name before.”

“There was a party… at Pembroke’s a while ago, he was one of Veronica’s friends from New York. I was lonely, and I really just wanted to loosen up a bit… He uh… He drugged me.” Toni felt her blood boil inside her, her eyes closed trying to keep calm, her arms tighten around Cheryl’s body, bringing her impossibly close to her.

“Did he…?” She was almost afraid of the answer.

“No… He brought me to his room, I was so out of it I didn’t even notice we were alone, I thought we were just getting some air. Veronica and the Pussycats, if they hadn’t seen it…” Cheryl was suddenly in tears again. She might have told Veronica it was fine, she might have told _herself_ that it was fine. But it wasn’t, she was constantly dreaming about that, waking up screaming, she was so afraid of what might have happened if the girls weren’t there that day.

“Oh baby…” Toni kissed Cheryl’s forehead softly.

“Nothing happen, I know it could’ve been a lot worse, but I just…”

“He drugged you. You’re allowed to feel scared. He traumatized you.  I’m sorry that happened to you. But I promise you, it will never happen again okay? I won’t let it.” Toni made sure Cheryl was looking in her eyes. “And if I ever see this person I promise you he’ll pay.”

Cheryl smiled and nodded before hugging her girlfriend again, she knew Toni meant that and she knew she was safe with Toni, but her dreams… They would get there someday.

  1. Sweet Water River



That wasn’t exactly a confession. Toni asked. Don’t blame her, she was curious after a talk with Veronica.

Toni was at school, a week after the Sisters Of Quiet Mercy, looking for something in her locker when the Latina approached her, a smile on her face. Veronica was actually nice, Toni thought.

“Hey V.” She said as the black haired girl got close enough. “You need something?”

“Oh no, I just wanted to know how Cheryl is doing… If I ask her she’ll say she’s fine and after the Sweetwater incident last year… I just get really worried that she’ll try and do that again, I know she’s been through hell these last few weeks so…”

“What happened last year?” Toni asked, a little worried and curious.

Veronica’s eyes widened.

“Oh… You don’t know. I don’t think it’s for me to tell you… But just, take care of her yeah?”

Toni spent the rest of her day thinking about that. At night, she and Cheryl were at her trailer, sitting on the couch, the redhead was talking but Toni wasn’t really paying attention, her head still playing Veronica’s words over and over.

“Are you even listening TT?” Cheryl turned to her, one of her hands coming to rest on the pink haired girl’s thigh.

“What?”

“You’ve been off the whole day, is there something wrong?” The redhead asked, concern written all over her face. Did she do something? Was Toni already done with her?

“Can I ask you something?” Cheryl nodded. “What happened last year at Sweet Water River? Veronica said something… Said she wasn’t supposed to tell me.”

The taller girl’s expression became harder for a moment, before sighing and looking down at her hands, playing with her fingers. Was she ready to tell Toni about that? Probably not, but she didn’t think she would ever be, also… If there was anyone in the world that she would tell this to, it would be Toni.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, it’s okay.” The smaller girl said, noticing her discomfort, her hand grabbed Cheryl’s. “I’m sorry I asked.” She heard her girlfriend sigh and after a while, she started talking.

“I was just so tired… Everything was falling apart, Jason was dead, daddy was dead, I was alone. My mom hated me, she didn’t care, I had no friends, I had no one. I just gave up.” She was surprisingly calm while talking. Although it was still hard to think about it, she had come to terms with what had happened, she was depressed, she was alone, and she did something she thought it was the best idea at the time. “I went to the place I last saw the only person who ever cared about me. It was so cold, and I was so sure it was the best thing to do. Until I heard Archie’s and Veronica’s voice. They weren’t supposed to come, but maybe letting V know where I was… It was kind of a last cry for help.” She shrugged, now feeling her tears star to fall. Toni was looking at her with a soft expression, waiting for her to continue whenever she felt ready, her hands caressing Cheryl’s trying to comfort her. “The ice broke before I tried to get back to the shore and it was so cold Toni… I couldn’t get back, I couldn’t breathe, it hurt so much, it was so bad… When I fully woke up I was in Veronica’s car, she said Archie saved me.”

Cheryl looked at Toni, waiting for her to ask what was her problem. She had everything she could ever ask for, why did she tried to take her own life? Was she that damaged?

 “Do you have any idea how much I wished I could’ve meet you long before I did?” Was the only thing coming out of Toni’s lips and honestly what did Cheryl ever did to deserve that girl? The serpent was always surprising her, always making her feel better even when Cheryl thought she didn’t deserve it.

“You wouldn’t have liked me then… I was way worse.”

“You wouldn’t have been able to resist me even then Bombshell.” The serpent smirked. “Come here.” Toni opened her arms and the redhead threw herself in them. “Can you please promise me , that if you ever feel like that again, you’ll talk to me? I’ll always be here for you, you’re not alone okay?”

Cheryl smiled.

“Okay.”

  1. Josie



Toni already knew about this one before Cheryl told her.

First there was the drawing Penelope had showed them and then…

_“She sent me a bloody pig’s heart.”_

That were Josie’s words before leaving her and Veronica on their own to try and find Cheryl.

So yeah, Toni knew about Josie before Cheryl told her.

The serpent girl was looking for her girlfriend, who had skipped one of the classes they shared, she had tried to text the redhead but there was no response, and she knew Cheryl was at school, obviously, she was the one that brought her there.

She found Cheryl at the music room, sitting alone in front of the piano. She opened the door quietly.

“Cher? Why aren’t you in class? You okay?” Toni sat right next to her girlfriend, placing her hands in Cheryl’s legs, making her look up to meet Toni’s eyes, her eyes were watery and the pink haired girl’s heart broke at the sign. “Hey, what is it?”

“I miss Josie.” She said, looking down again. Toni sighed, bringing Cheryl closer to her. “You know, you are the best person I’ve ever had in my life, and I’m so grateful you’re still here but sometimes I just miss my friend you know?”

“I know babe.” Toni nodded understanding. It hurt her to know she was the only person Cheryl had, because that girl deserved so much more love, she deserved so much more care. “Why don’t you try and talk to her?”

“I can’t TT, she’ll never forgive me, what I did was…” Cheryl stopped suddenly, realizing Toni didn’t know what she did.

What if she told her and that was the final straw? She had told Toni so much about the things she did in the past, what she’s been thru, maybe Toni wouldn’t like her anymore if she knew this. Maybe Toni would think she was too crazy, maybe Toni would be scared she would do the same with her. Whenever she confessed something to Toni, she always expects the girl to leave her, it’s what she knows, it’s what she’s used to.

“I know babe.” Toni said, a soft expression in her features, looking right into her girlfriend’s eyes.

“What?”

“I know what happened.” Cheryl was still confused. “When we were looking for you, we went to Thistle House and your mom showed us the drawing, Josie freaked out and told me and Veronica about what happened, pig’s heart included.”

“I…” Cheryl’s eyes held an expression of fear, not knowing what to say next. Toni knew and she didn’t leave. Would she leave now? “I don’t know what I was thinking.” She tried to defend herself. “It was crazy, it’s not the same with you I…”

“I know that too babe, it’s okay. It wasn’t right, what you did, but you were struggling with yourself, it’s in the past, I know it’s not the same, don’t worry.”

Toni Topaz was the person Cheryl prayed would showed up and the person she thought she would never have in her life. Yet… There she was, knowing about Cheryl’s deepest and darkest secrets, and she didn’t care. She was still there, loving Cheryl like she was the most beautiful and precious thing in the world – and, to Toni, she really was. And the redhead couldn’t ask for anyone better to be her rock, her safe place.

“So… about that apology you own Josie…”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so in love with them it's not even healthy. Thoughts?


End file.
